Virtual Open Mic: Karyn Quick

My name is Karyn Laraine and I’m 61 years old. On April 20th, 1963 when I was six weeks old I was burned with scalding water by my mother. I am a burn survivor 30% first, second and third degree. My birthfather rushed me to the hospital where they told my family I would not make it through the night. There were no burn centers back then. After that evening my childhood was filled with physical abuse, abandonment and tortuous life events. My parents were teenagers when they had me at age 20 and I was their second child. They separated when I was about two years old, so I did not grow up with my bio father. My mom remarried and had several abusive boyfriends. She suffered from domestic violence as well. My burn scars are from my waist down and I have scars on my hands. These scars I stare at many times a day for the past 61 years. No one told me the story of my burn incident. My mom was violent while I was growing up and I got the most of her rage, alcoholism, fear and anger. There are a few times I though growing up that she was trying to kill me. She would hit me on my scars on my bare bottom and tops of my legs which has scars in those areas. So, I had scars and welts and I remember looking in the mirror as I could not sit down for a few days. She would chop my hair off when I was a little girl. My sisters had long hair, but she would not let me have long hair. When I was 15 years old my mom and little sister moved to northern California with out me. I spent a couple weeks with some lady and I continued to work my summer job. Then I moved in with my maternal grandmother at her single wide trailer. I slept on the love seat. We got along fine, but I had no where to go when she started having health problems. From there I moved with my little sister’s dad and his wife. They became my legal guardians until I graduated high school. With my childhood being so rough I wanted to heal as much as possible before I got married and had my daughter. I was not going to repeat the generational family traumas which are on both side. Most of my childhood trauma I have worked though. When I was 22 years old my younger sister entered drug treatment at age 15. I was happy that my family would be getting help. I attended the sibling group therapy and attended their family program once a week. This is where my recovery and education into family systems began. I shared with the therapist the little I knew about my burn story – just that it happened as I had no details ever. The therapist suggested I confront my mother in the family therapy group. I remember that evening clearly. I sat next to the therapist, my mom was sitting across from me. There were several families in the group. My mom shared my story with me and the group. Hearing my story for the first time was quite shocking as I did not realize I was a newborn weighing just eight pounds when the burns occurred. I do not remember anything after the confrontation as it was too much for me to comprehend. I wanted to learn everything I could about drug and alcoholic family systems. Child development, dysfunctional family traits, divorce, raising children, and generational trauma. I began taking a lot of college courses on family dynamics, different types of abuse, and why do people hurt people they allegedly love. Once I learned more I was able to put some of the puzzle pieces together for me. I am still an avid learner as I work in with foster youth and advocate in court for the past 20 years. When I was thirty, I requested my medical records from the hospital. They sent me some of them which were doctors and nurses notes, but nothing else. I read them and put the document in a drawer for almost three decades. I didn’t know back then that this document would provide some answers for me. I was back in therapy to work through more of my childhood abuse. After several years I felt a lot better and no longer needed therapy. I moved on with my life getting married and having our daughter in 1999. I was living instead of existing which is the best feeling. In May 2022 when I was 59, I had a substantial PTSD trigger that I am still working through 2.5 years later. I went back to therapy as I know I needed EMDR for my burn injury and other childhood events. It’s been a difficult journey, the trauma of my burns and my story. I searched burn hospital programs and went to a local support group. I found the Phoenix society support group which has been wonderful. I’ve been going almost two years. This is where I heard about World Burn Congress (WBC). I was fortunate to get a scholarship from AARBF in California for WBC. I was so scared, but excited to attend and I wanted to experience everything. I walked into WBC 2023 and oh man did I feel accepted for the first time in my life. I didn’t know it but I was home. My other goal was to participate in open mic which for me is quite a risk. I am an introvert and the thought of sharing a very personal story was a lot. I accomplished this I was able to share for a couple of minutes in the ballroom with hundreds of people who I felt comfortable and safe with. I had a few friends from phoenix society support group. One of the most meaningful events at WBC was the walk of solidarity. I was quite emotional, which was good as I cried the entire walk. It was growth for me as I don’t cry in front of people. I had no idea how to navigate being a burn survivor as this term in new for me. At WBC was the first time wearing a burn survivor shirt. I now have a few shirts and a quite comfortable wearing them in public. I’ve been to a couple of local retreats for burn survivor’s earlier this year which was difficult, but I did so much healing there with other survivors. I can’t wait for WBC 2025. I recently asked my mom again to walk me through that night as I had not heard my story since I was 22. We had a good discussion and she admitted she was a horrific mother. I did not grow up with my birth father. Recently for my hearing I needed to see what he remembered about that night so long ago. He really did not remember the events of that evening or my hospitalization. Back then they could not spend the night in the hospital with me, but I missed out on a lot of bonding, attachment we require as newborns. The last 2.5 years have been the hardest as my mind, body and soul went back to when I was a child with all the pain, fear and confusion. Even though my injury was six decades ago I felt raw. It’s as if my burns just happened a couple years ago. I am healing quite well thanks to the phoenix society support group and my local burn foundation’s survivor programs.

Disclaimer: The stories featured on this website are personal accounts shared by individuals from the burn community. Each burn injury, recovery journey, and healing process is unique. These stories are meant to offer connection, insight, and hope but are not intended as medical advice. What worked for one person may not be appropriate for others. The perspectives shared in these stories do not necessarily represent the views of Phoenix Society for Burn Survivors. If you have medical questions or concerns, please consult a qualified healthcare professional.