Connection - The Unexpected Answer
Written on June 28, 2022
“Everybody is different.” It seemed to be the only answer Jane ever got. It felt like a nonanswer when answers were what she longed for most.
Jane Fayer’s search for answers began on October 29, 2020. Her father had just died. She was preparing to leave for his funeral the next day. Her heart was aching as she prepared her morning coffee. And then her electric kettle tipped. Boiling water cascaded down her leg.
Her memories of that day are a tangle of grief, pain, heartache, and shock. But one memory stands out—the feeling of being alone.
Coronavirus restrictions left the hospital feeling strangely hollow. While her care was excellent, the empty halls seemed to multiply the questions swirling through her mind. Questions about pain, healing, and her future spilled over to the only resource she had…the burn professionals at the hospital.
But when every answer seemed to echo the ambiguous phrase she grew to hate—“everybody is different”—her frustration deepened. Her loneliness intensified. Her uncertainty grew.
Until one day in a treatment room, she spotted the Phoenix Society’s Journey Magazine (formally known as Burn Support Magazine). From the magazine, she found the website, explored articles, dug into research, and realized… there were others. There’s a whole community of survivors like her.
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Each magazine issue is packed with survivor stories, resource articles, and updates about the organization.
Less than three months after her injury, Jane logged into her first Phoenix Society Virtual Support Group. As survivors introduced themselves and shared their stories, relief flooded over Jane:
All I remember saying is, ‘You are the first people I’ve ever met that have been burned, and I don’t feel so alone anymore!’ It triggered waves of tears of emotional release and of joy that these people knew and understood what was happening to me.”
It was a turning point for Jane. In her search for answers, she found more. She found connection to community, resources, and support that helped her journey toward healing. And she discovered the phrase “everybody is different” is an answer that all survivors live with. A truth that, with peer support, she learned to embrace.
While every individual and every recovery are unique, the need for connection is universal. There is strength and hope in having other survivors journeying the unpredictable with you.
For Jane, it wasn’t actually clear-cut answers that she needed most. It was people.