Supporting Grief + Loss: Tips for Providers

Create a safe space and acknowledging all losses:

Allow the group or individual to acknowledge their losses—without judgement from each other. Often, we feel guilty for grieving ambiguous losses (such as not being able to go to the movies, missing dinner plans with friends, missing graduation (from kindergarten to graduate school) , summer camps, etc) compared to the losses that others are experiencing (loss of life, jobs, financial security, safety, etc). The “both” rule applies here – we are allowed to feel fortunate and grateful while still feeling loss and grief.

Potential questions to ask (1) :

• What’s been hardest for you since this all began?

• What do you miss most?

• If you could go back before this began and give yourself advice, what would it be?

There are some basic principles to keep in mind when working with and supporting oneself or another in the grieving process. These principles create the safe container for the healing process of grief and are as follows:

PRINCIPLE #1: Compassionate Truth-Telling

• The truth spoken with care and compassion catalyzes the emotional healing process.

• Withholding or distorting truth complicates grief and feeds denial.

PRINCIPLE #2: Avoid Judgment

• People are doing the best they can with the tools they have to work with.

• Acceptance is more helpful than judgment.

PRINCIPLE #3: Respect Difference

• There may be differing values and even spiritual beliefs within the same family.

• Many families will have different values and belief systems than yours.

• Recognize and honor difference.

PRINCIPLE #4: Support Saying Good-bye

• Facilitating saying good-bye supports closure and facilitates healing later on.

• Interfering with the process of saying good-bye blocks healing in individuals and families.

• Support families including children in saying good-bye.

PRINCIPLE #5: Respect and Honor Feelings

• Feelings are neither right nor wrong, good or bad—neither are they necessarily logical.

• Feelings need to be heard respectfully and without judgment.

• Feelings do not need to be interpreted or analyzed.

References

1. Cornner M and Hurst T, 2020. 3 ways to help your team navigate grief in crisis, Advisory Board, accessed 6 May 2020, <https://www.advisory.com/daily-briefing/2020/04/08/covid-grief>

© Copyright Megan Bronson, PMH, CNS-BC, MSN, RN, CS, Balance Point, Inc.