Scars are Not a Halloween Costume

"Your skin is so scary! How did you get it to look like that?"

"Too bad it's real," I responded.

She immediately apologized and was embarrassed.

I held it together just long enough to walk over and whisper in my sister's ear, telling her what had happened. She grabbed me, and we went to an empty room. I cried until I got myself together enough to go back out and try to enjoy the party. This was my real skin, not fake, and someone thought it was scary and part of a Halloween costume.

This is but one example of how others' innocent comments, judgments, and assumptions may affect a survivor.

Burn Survivors in the Media

Why does this happen at all?

This is because our culture, media, and entertainment have portrayed burn survivors and those with scars as monsters, villains, or something that we should fear, making scars a great addition to costumes. This negative perception changes how others view scars, causing misconceptions.

To a lot of people, scars, race, disabilities, and differences are not costumes; they are a part of their everyday lives. Although we can't control other people and the way they may respond to our differences, we can choose not to be victimized by them and how we respond.

To a lot of people, scars, race, disabilities, and differences are not costumes; they are a part of their everyday lives. Although we can't control other people and the way they may respond to our differences, we can choose not to be victimized by them and how we respond.

Responding to Comments

Over the years, I have learned how to navigate these types of situations, something I often didn't feel prepared for when I was much younger. I would like to share some of the ways I have learned to take your power back when faced with this type of uncomfortable interaction.

Here are things we can do if someone responds to our scars in a negative way:

• Call it out

• Use humor

• Educate them

• Engage in self-compassion

• Ignore them and remove yourself from the environment

• Give them grace and empathy

• Seek support

What others can do:

• Don't use scars as costume

• Don't use or encourage others to wear scars, disability, or race as a costume

• Don't assume when you see someone's scars that it is a part of their costume

• Educate others

• Implement boundaries

It is up to each of us to help create a culture where people can be their authentic selves and be able to wear their scars on their sleeves and body without inappropriate comments and/or being shamed. And I hope to live in a world where someday myself and others like me can go to a Halloween party without the anxiety of someone thinking their skin is part of a costume, or face stigma for something out of my control like being a trauma survivor, but for now, I know that I have the tools to navigate these uncomfortable interactions and a choice in where and how I show up.