Am I Disabled? Facing Disabilities from a Burn Injury

"What am I going to do for the rest of my life?"

Like most of my peers, I asked myself this question throughout my high school and college years. But then a new question came up, one that my peers did not face:

"What can I do?"

What limitations did I have with my burn injury? How would my burn injury affect my ability to get a job? These became very real and concerning questions.

Fighting for Independence

At the age of two, a house fire left me with burns on over 91% of my body. The doctor's prognosis for me was grim; they predicted I would be blind, I would be ventilator dependent, never walk or talk again, and thus never be able to live independently.

My mother and grandmother and medical staff fought hard to prove them wrong, and I more than obtained the independence they fought so hard for me to get. I can not only see; I can walk, run my dog in agility, ride horses, work and support myself and thrive.

But that doesn't mean that my burn injury didn’t leave me with some limitations. At this point in my life, I had prided myself on the fact that my burn injury "did not affect me." It was an image I worked hard to protect, but in reality I was denying a part of myself and the challenges I faced.

I had fought my entire life to not be "disabled," to be as independent as possible and show the world that I am not my burn injury—so why would I acknowledge that it has left me with limitations?

But I was faced with a choice. I could acknowledge that my burn injury left me with limitations and disabilities and make accommodations to thrive or I could continue to fall victim to the pain my burn injury has caused in my life.

Accepting Limitations

At the time, the thought that certain career options were off the table because of my burn injury was a tough reality that I had to face. I talked to a professor and she kindly took the time to explain to me my rights. But rather than feeling assured, a piece of me felt heartbroken, like I was entering a new battle to fit into a world that was not designed for someone with differences. Through the course of the next few years I would learn about able-body privilege and ableism.

Yet, I never saw myself as "disabled" or different than anyone else, even though I knew I fought for my ability to do "normal" things way harder than most able-bodied people.

Merriam Webster defines a disability as “a physical, mental, cognitive, or developmental condition that impairs, interferes with, or limits a person's ability to engage in certain tasks or actions or participate in typical daily activities and interactions."

I began to accept that there were things my body couldn’t do.

I would never be a horse trainer full time. My body couldn’t meet the demand or handle working in extreme temps. Riding in a variety of saddles can cause chafing on my legs.

I thought I would be able to work a computer desk job, only to later develop chronic pain in my hands, causing me to now require multiple adaptations.

Thriving with Accommodations

Over the course of this journey, I learned to ask the question: ‘What type of job can I do? What type of job can my body sustain?’ and ‘What type of accommodations can I make to help me do my job well?’

Over the years I learned more and more how to advocate for myself and how to make and get the accommodations I need to put my health first in different roles I’ve obtained.

I can pursue my passion of working with horses with a variety of sun protection clothing, custom riding pants and a well-fitted saddle. I can work at a computer and take care of my hands with an ergonomic keyboard and mouse, adjustable desk, and voice to text app. And my dog Eli is trained as my service dog to help me with medical PTSD that I began to face at the start of the pandemic.

Yes, I have limitations and disabilities from my burn injury, but I prefer to look at my abilities and find accommodations to achieve all that I want in the world. Most importantly I am not what happened to me, my limitations, burns or scars, my work, I am an individual - Michelle - and that is enough all on its own.