Written by Samoana Matagi on December 09, 2024
Dear Burn Community,
Welcome to "Ask the Experts," Journey Magazine's advice column. In this edition, we received common questions that we often hear from our community about facing fears after a burn injury, how to treat wounds that keep reopening, and handling Halloween. As we respond to your questions, we draw on our personal and professional experience to offer guidance. Our goal is to provide valuable advice and support to the burn community.
Have a question? Whether you are a burn survivor, caregiver, or community ally, we want to know what's on your mind. Submit your questions to resources@phoenix-society.org with the subject line "Ask the Experts."
Sincerely,
Sam, Felicia, Lise
Dear Experts,
I was burned in a car accident and now I’m terrified to get behind the wheel and drive again. However, I live in a rural community and will depend on a car for work. How do I overcome this fear?
Tucker
Dear Tucker,
I’m so sorry to hear about your accident. I can see how these circumstances could lead to a fear of doing the very same activity that led to your burns.
I’m reminded of a time in my own recovery from burns when a paralyzing fear overcame me. A psychologist helped me through it by first teaching me to breathe. It sounded so simple that it couldn’t possibly be true, but with an open mind and sincere desire to overcome my fear, I gave it a shot.
When fearful situations arise, we sometimes forget to breathe. Our brains are wired for survival. When we stop breathing, our brain is deprived of oxygen, and our actions return to the primal survival tactics of fight, flight, fawn, or feed. It’s helpful to have a rehearsed breathing exercise to resort to when things get really scary. Some breathing techniques are box breathing, 4-7-8 breathing, belly breathing, resonant breathing, etc. My personal go-to is box breathing.
As you start your journey, remind yourself of all your accomplishments throughout your life. When I began my journey, I remembered some difficult things I had achieved: serving a church mission for two years, learning a new language in a different country, graduating from college, surviving a divorce, etc. Then I told myself if I had survived these things, I could survive losing my hands in an electrical accident. This gave me the confidence to take my first steps.
Remember positive self-talk. This often means reframing statements to look at the possibilities rather than the negative. For example, rather than saying, “I can’t drive,” you can rephrase as “I will get back to driving again!” It can also be as simple as telling yourself, “I can do this!”
Another thing that could help is to practice driving under controlled situations. I used to use the church parking lot on a weekday. It might also help to ask a friend to go with you. Once your friend drives you over to the controlled driving environment, do some driving and don’t be hard on yourself if you only succeed for short moments. Each time out, you could drive a little longer as tolerated. Remember, conquering this fear is a marathon, not a sprint. You can do it, but it may take time.
Celebrate every accomplishment, no matter how small. Reward yourself for small victories, which will keep you motivated for longer. Along with celebrating these small wins, give yourself grace for the shortcomings that may happen. This is not to permit yourself to make excuses but to acknowledge the shortcoming, forgive yourself, and vow to be better.
These are a few techniques that come to mind for you or anybody wanting to overcome fears that are stopping your progress. I believe you can overcome your fears and feel confident behind the wheel again. Give these items a try, and when it gets hard, remember to breathe deep.
Samoana Matagi earned a Bachelor of Arts in Broadcast Journalism in 2004. After two years in the field of Broadcast Journalism, he changed career paths to a high-voltage electrical line worker. Three years into his apprenticeship, he was involved in an electrical work accident that cost him his hands. He then became critically acclaimed for his recovery story, which drove him to create a YouTube channel to help other amputees. Now, he speaks to audiences about resilience. Learn more at www.nohandedbandit.com or by connecting with him on YouTube, Facebook, or Instagram.
Our private Facebook group is open to all survivors and loved ones from all walks of life and members are encouraged to share their experiences, thoughts, feelings, and questions with one another.